Bhatti Sir!

I’m not one to get emotional when someone dies, so here goes.

It feels surreal writing this today, a year and few months after we lost another underrated and under-celebrated star – Vivek Shauq. But that’s the similarity between death and comedy – the element of surprise.

I’ve often stated that Bhatti was one of my comedic influences, but he remains something more. As a child, he was “my” guy. The televisual space, which seemed oddly removed from reality because it never seemed to show people who looked like my elders and me saw him come along and change all of that. He was the smartest, funniest and kindest person in the room, and he legitimized my identity that was hit everyday in the playground by other kids who were fed a diet of sardars being stupid. And while today I’m a non-believer and my cultural identity remains an afterthought, I would in all likelihood have been a different person had it not been for re-runs of Ulta Pulta and Flop Show. It breaks my heart that I couldn’t tell him this in person, but I hope he knows what he did for my generation.

 

While many will remember Flop Show (to my mind the funniest show on Indian television – one whose stories were so strong that they remain relevant today) and his various Bollywood cameos, I hope they also remember him for his street theatre. While many would laugh and scoff at his tactics, few comedians and satirists have had the gall to consistently venture into the public domain to inaugurate faux foundation stone factories, press for legalizing corruption and other absurdities - much to the amusement of passers by.  The fact that he was forced to apologise to a Chandigarh Shiv Sena branch in 2011 who took offence at his statements against corruption tell us how increasingly intolerant we’re becoming to humor, but he stayed at it without fuss.

Bhatti sir remained subtle, understated and effective. He has a lot to teach young comics, if only they care to watch. Sadly however, not many of us go back our roots. And maybe our lot doesn’t deserve to have someone like him around us.

I said this when I wrote about Vivek Shauq’s demise, and I feel it needs to be said again.

“India does not respect its artists. That comedians languish at the bottom of the artistic pile is an even bigger statement on our society. Maybe it’s because Indian comics aren’t like they used to be. Maybe society hammers us into delivering what it wants and doesn’t leave us with any other options. But the one thing we can do is honour some of our unsung heroes who deserve a lot more respect and recognition than they are accorded.”

I will miss him terribly, but before that I’d probably go watch Mahaul Theek Hai once more and laugh like an idiot. I presume that’s how he’d want it. 

 

Courtesy: Gkhamba

The Last Action Hero

As it turns out, apart from being the World ‘We did it for Sachin Tendulkar’ day, 2nd April is also Ajay Devgan’s birthday.

There was a time in the early nineties during my formative years(though the quantity of formation that happened in those formative years is debatable) when I was a die-hard Ajay Devgan fan. I mean, after mom convinced me that I cannot possibly be Sunny Deol ever, even if they feed me Complan intravenously. Those were tough times and I needed a new hero, a new idol. And Ajay Devgan dirtbiked into my life.

(Classy since 1990)

For a scrawny teenager with a before-fairness-challenges complexion and side-parted hair, Ajay Devgan was the perfect idol. When Jigar released, I was regularly practicing fake jujitsu in the shower, throwing hamam soap in the air and karatechopping them and fighting neighbourhood kids with blindfolded eyes. All this without a promise of a Karishma Kapoor. Not only did this boost my self-confidence, it also helped me lose all those milk teeth.

But my devotion for Ajay Devgan steadly increased. He was after all a rage. His wikipedia page will tell you how he won the Filmfare Male Debut award for Phool aur Kante. I can tell you that two of my friends lost their groins while trying to emulate his bike stunts. He was the alpha and the omega at that time. All the angry young men in the industry were getting old and Ajay and others were quickly replacing them, taking action to another level. In those times, one of the most challenging roles in the industry was that of Ajay Devgan’s sister, what with all the Mohinish Behls of the industry running after them. And while he suffered huge losses on his family side(taking adequate revenge during climax), he continued to romance the best of the industry. Raveena Tandon, Sonali Bendre, Karishma Kapoor, Madhuri, Madhu, Sonali Bendre, Twinkle Khanna, Manisha Koirala, Sonali Bendre, Aishwarya Rai. You name them and Ajay Devgan had them behind a few trees and flowers.

Of course then he went on and did one brave thing after another. Like marrying Kajol. Imagine that shrieking voice early in the morning. I have trouble believing that Veeru Devgan is still alive and has not died by death-by-repeated-calls-of-Bauji. Ajay Devgan is a pioneer in the true sense of the word. There was a certain subtlety to his ways, the way he did his romance or the way he did his action. Or the way he danced.

He brought pride to the name ‘Raju’, which until then was reserved for Chaiwallahs and raddiwallahs. He is one of the few Bollywood actors who can act both with and without a mustache. We all know what happened when Anil Kapoor tried acting without a mustache. Kumar Sanu almost owes his entire career to Ajay Devgan.

Ajay Devgan was one of the best things to have happened to Bollywood in the 90s. Till he developed an aversion to vowels and started acting in movies like Rascal.

But here is wishing a very belated happy birthday to Ajay Devgan of the 90s. The way I’d like to remember him.

The Marriage Aptitude Test

It’s a know phenomenon that it’s difficult to understand women. In the context of “Women rule the world”, I’m hoping that the day will soon arrive when women will ask their guy to take the following test:

1. Write a snark-free essay on one of the following (3000+ words):
1. My emotions right now
2. Foreplay
2. Describe the appearance of your ideal woman, starting with her shoes. Actually, just the shoes—the rest, I know.
3. Critique the outfits I wore on our last 7 dates (skip the 3rd and 5th most recent dates; add more detail about the 6th.)
4. Write a hypothetical conversation between you and any one of my girl-friends, where she will find you cute, endearing, sexy, funny and attractive, but not flirty; she should feel herself attracted to you, while realizing that she is definitely not your type.
5. Draw a dinner fork, a teaspoon and a tablespoon. To scale.
6. List (all questions compulsory):
1. 10 colors that are not in the rainbow, or in a box of crayons.
2. 10 things you can do that my mom will find cute (bonus points for listing things that I haven’t told you).
3. All our anniversaries and important days (use additional sheets if necessary).
4. All festivals when you are not permitted to discuss religion, or give any variant of your “how 99% of the world’s religions are already extinct” speech.
5. 10 friends—besides members of your “band”—that you think you will need to phase out of your life, once we’re married. (Do not include friends that have already been phased out.)
7. Write the last joke you will ever make about my brother’s writing, clothing or preference for drinking warm water.
8. Describe your favorite book of all time, and discuss how it could be improved to match Gone With The Wind.
9. Describe in brief all your ex-girlfriends. Attach their pictures. All the pictures. And gifts, etc. Basically everything that’s in “the box.” Just attach the whole box.
10. Under what circumstances are you permitted to lie to me ? (One word or less.)

Pic Courtesy - www.cartoonstock.com