The BIG Fat Indian Arranged Marriage...

Act 1

 The drama unfolds when an uncle or aunt's comments[rather a snide remark]

 make our parents think that their kid is getting really old and it's time

he/she stops enjoying life. After all happiness is not everything in life.

So they conclude we are ready for the holy union. The same uncles and aunts

     are then used for broadcasting the availability of an eligible

                   bachelor/spinster in the household.

 Act II

The show starts with a bang. With phrases like "Fair,slim,goodlooking girl

 wanted"(for a Bappi Lahiri look alike)... or a "Boy with decent family

 background and clean habits"(for a girl who idolizes Rakhi Sawant) going

                around in matrimonial columns or portals.

 Act III

The verification, validation and elimination round. Innumerable matches are

 browsed and are eliminated based on pedigree [The Aunt says: The bride's

 sister's brother-in-law is married to a person from another community it

                       seems..How blasphemous!!].

Mars is in second house and Venus is in 4th house, that's a bad combination

for a horoscope you see. If we marry this person there will be bad luck for

 the next 14 generations. The groom's father, mother, brother, sister and

 puppy will get a cardiac arrest, a tsunami will strike from the flush and

     engulf the house. No way we can take a person with this kind of

             horrorscope !! -- This is what the uncle says.

A year passes by … they get bored and lose hope with this act and still the

            search continues. Well it goes like this.........

First the parents would have started off with the search string 'Beautiful

 mangalorean girl looking out for good-looking mangalorean boy preferably

  professionally qualified'...then due to lower success rate it is now

     changed to 'Beautiful mangalorean bride looking for mangalorean

 professionally qualifed groom'. With not much success either the search

  criteria is transformed to ' mangalorean girl looking for mangalorean

 boy'...then at a later point changes to a boy. Finally the search is like

    Bridegroom wanted..caste, community no bar(Wah! wah!what a broad

  mindedness)...this implies to all castes, communities and creeds(last

     survey counted more than 50 thousand castes in my state alone)

ACT IV

 At last the wedding gets fixed with some compromise or the other. Then

comes the huge cost involved in an arranged marriage. The bride's & groom's

    side competes in building up a crowd. Hence we can see old pals,

school/tuition teachers, plumbers, car mechanics, newspaper boy anyone and

everyone who the bride or groom's side knows. We need witnesses for once in

a lifetime occurrence you see. Of course jewels, silk saris and 'n' number

           of food varieties are there in the list by default.

 The compromises too are not reached without a reason. The color and looks

of the bride determines the dowry rate (let's not be so naive..It’s called

 kanyadhaan. The fair & slim girl conditions can be compromised if a few

                            bucks are passed.

 ACT V

 Post all the drama and tamasha slowly the truth starts sinking in for the

 boy and girl. The boy thinks his wife is extremely beautiful, caring and

would bear him kids who would win Dereck O’Brian quiz contests. But she may

turn out to be someone who hates guy's who has parents or someone who won’t

get a proper sleep if she hasn't heard the sound of her hubby's credit card

                         being swiped every day.

  And the girl who was expecting this caring and sensitive husband, may

 realize her man is as caring as Emperor Nero and the sense part..well he

 may be someone whose idea of a fashion icon is govinda and the only sport

 he plays is throwing pop-corn into his mouth as he watches IPL,ICL,India

 Vs.Holland, Ranji trophy and any cricket match played on the television.

Final ACT

The man and woman realize there is no way to get out of this and either end

up loving each other, probably sympathizing with the other’s plight Or they

 keep the marriage intact by remaining single deep inside their hearts.

Yes yes.. accepted arranged marriages have a positive side too. It's like a

 huge family reunion and two unconnected families coming together..where

 else can we expect the guy serving sambhar or one giving you rose milk to

  be a distant relative and gives aptitude books a run for the money in

                   solving the blood relations puzzle.

With all its pitfalls and drawbacks the show still goes on with the BIG Fat

                        Indian arranged marriage.